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  • Writer's pictureLisa Sophia Spencer

Healing Holidays

Updated: Dec 18, 2023

Holidays are not the best days for many of us. Painful memories or realities of loss, or of unhappy, unmet needs, seem to excite a relentless need towards intense blues, frustrations... isolation that we tend to suffer (in many ways alone) during the holidays.

However, we can right now release the need to intensely, unreasonably self-isolate or vacuum ourselves in a loop of self-pitying, downward spiraling thoughts. Let us also release the need to self-loathe or self-abandon, in the guise of over-sleeping, over-spending, over-compensating, dwarfing in the opinions of others, and people pleasing.

Bells of Trauma cannot be un-rung… pain however, can be sweetly heard and healed …

Therefore, I will my heart to go ‘head and break...

Feeling totally lost, yet again...

In more ways and in more miracles than one can find...

Healing from Regret: We will again find ourselves finding love, finding joy, finding higher ground, finding a willingness to forgive... forgive me... I messed up, I didn't listen! I refused to see (denial), to stop, to forgive, to act!

Release the impulse to focus on what you’ve lost. Choose to focus on what you have left. Your potential is always greater than your “limitation”

(while creatively, miraculously unfolding infinite possibilities within (& beyond) your abilities).

Oh God this hurts. Pain of lost loved ones: don't shy away from talking about your loved ones & bringing up the memories of joys you've shared with & about them. Doing so keeps them more vibrantly alive in our hearts & is a gift unto ourselves, as well to those we share with.

Freedom is found in our willingness. Therefore, I am willing to weep in sweet surrender to what is.  We many times did not deserve the hurt, pain or loss that we did get. Your & my life, however, truly does deserve you, deserve me; and wants to live out loud through us in unspeakable joy, new creations and healing.

We will find love, peace, joy, higher ground, strength...

Wisdom encourages us to affirm “I am open to love in various forms.”

Someone may hold the door open for us, a small child may catch eyes with us and smile, a happy little dog may wag its way over to you and show you some love or you may find preciousness in nature or catch a glimpse that pulls a smile across your heart.

We will again follow our own dreams, deep-breathe and have sweet peace; for the absence of peace simply means we have chosen harmful, dis-eased thoughts, feelings and ways of being that lead against our highest best, thereby, we chose to be lost again.

Fear not, it’s ok; we get to choose better this time, over and again.

And it is ok!  …to cry, cherish what we have, and sing (even if we can't hold a tune).

The deep song of any cherished or Sacred Holiday is in our hearts, not our wallets (or anything outside of ourselves).

Let’s choose to stay harmonized, in love with life, in touch with reality, be gentle with ourselves, and be creative and free! (listening to the wisdom of our wellness and spending within our means today will afford us freedom come tomorrow).

...and though at times we may feel lost or lonely as hell, we will be willing to open our Hearts Ten Queendoms / Ten Kingdoms wide; breathe deep and surrender to hope again.

By the grace of the Most High LOVE (we will know) that out of lost, we are truly found. A few Hacks to get through the Holiday Blues: 1) Deep Breathe and imagine that you're breathing in Light, Love and Laughter (hear the laughter of little babies). 2) Bless ourselves in the comforting love of a warm bath (with rose petals, candles and music).

3) Treat ourselves to a little bit of comfort foods & join a local community walk through online support groups that can be found in spaces like

4) Release the wonders of a child‘s imagination within us (and with all the vibrancy of a healthy curiosity that it brings). Dare to imagine all the creative ways we could welcome life, joy & kindness (upon ourselves first & others) in our day.

5) Choose to change how you react to people. While holding onto the wisdom of past interactions, don’t expect people to change (however, if they do, give yourself permission to accept the pleasance of surprise, in the moment it arises). 6) Listen to music that brings you joy, builds you up, and to music that soothes you. 7) As mentioned above, online support groups can also be a good place to create a meaningful experience, like a trauma support healing group. Online AL-ANON meetings can offer beautiful healing experiences. Likewise, AA meetings can be spiritually healing (whether or not you have an alcohol problem). Stay vibrantly, wisely & beautifully daring; do a little searching until you find what you need & deserve♥️

8) Breathe in Light (deep breathe) Smile, breathe out Laughter (a belly-blow-out of imagined deep belly laughter) Finally, laughter is healing like a medicine. You’re invited to take a listen:

© ”Healing Holidays” Lisa Spencer, 2018... 2022

All Rights Reserved

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Lisa Sophia Spencer
Lisa Sophia Spencer
Nov 30, 2018

Remember, "spending within our means" applies to every area of our lives (we spend our vital energy in every thing we do), this includes time spent with "difficult" or joyful loved ones.

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